Man, I don't know what to say but that you are able to get a bit of distance from all of that. Figuring out how to take care of myself has honestly been the hardest part of all this. I've got a good therapist now who has a ton of experience with Bipolar, and she's been really helpful in figuring out what reasonable expectations are, both for myself and my wife. I think the scariest part in all this has been realizing that no amount of care, or love, or fear is going to reach through and convince my wife to take her meds once she becomes delusional. So pretty much our whole lives right now are built around making sure that never happens, and to get her to the hospital if it does. We have an Advance Directive Plan filled out now, which I hope will help.