My favorite part, personally speaking, is the syllogism: IF: violent video games cause violence AND: the author enjoyed violent video games THEN: the author should be violent Yet the article starts with Because I was 13 years old and the above scene was unfolding on my friend's PlayStation, I am not writing this column from a maximum security prison. He's gotta be trolling.I remember it like it was yesterday. I had just robbed a drug dealer and was peeling out in my getaway car — also stolen — and thinking about my next score when I saw her: a woman in high heels and a very small bathing suit. She motioned towards me and I let her get in the car. We performed a blurry parody of marital intercourse. After she got out of the vehicle, I ran her over. Then Judas Priest came on the radio. I cranked the volume and roasted the tires of my sports car beneath the orange moon.