There's a lot I can say about New Years Eve. I spend the entire year working with some people ranging from non-profit board members to production companies to city officials to volunteers, and it went amazingly well this year. Which is problematic because we're still going to barely be in the black. A lot to think about this upcoming year, but the feedback has been good, and we have success we can build on.

Had some spare time towards the end of the night, and ended up at our main stage for the final fire performance and countdown into 2018. It was bittersweet, standing there, alone, wearing my "Board Member" ID, watching all these couples and families have an amazing time. Gave me time to think about how much this all matters in the end if you don't have somebody to share the experience. Which led to a real, real, low emotionally which I'm still recovering from.

But there's always climbing, and running, and I'm looking at bikes on Craigslist today for hopefully a weekend purchase. The one last girl I had any interest in is a lesbian, so that's a first, and fortunately I didn't find out by asking her out. But that's it, really, and it's a bit freeing, a bit sad, yadda yadda. No people left who I want to flirt with, want to get know on a more intimate level, and currently no prospects for meeting somebody like that since I've sworn off online dating and don't have the time to expand much beyond what I'm already doing outside of work.

Resigned disappointment the phrase which was thrown at me last night. But that's life. And then you die or wake up.