- Why would any sane parent teach his kids to talk back? Because, this father found, it actually increased family harmony.
It seems like a sound enough strategy... Still, I can't shun the idea of it being manipulation of others. It rubs me the wrong way, even though this is exactly how persuasion works. What gives? Besides. Seems to me that it can't be the whole strategy of raising a child, can it? You're raising them as X, and they'll put a lot of their faith into being X until it inevitably fails them no matter how hard they try. They can't just be arguers or students or whatever. In the words of Mark Manson, you gotta "diversify your identity".
You're wrong. I think we should argue this out ;-)
I think a problem that could arise is that the kid will get the impression that everything is negotiable, when in reality, it is not. At some point they are going to understand that you are choosing when they win and lose, and not always on the merits of their argument. I do think it's a good practice to address the merits of a kid's argument, but IMO, like everything in life, there is no one approach works all the time. Also, different kids probably respond better or worse to the same approach. It seems that even in the same family, some kids need more discipline, and some need less.“All right,” I said. “You can wear shorts in school if your mother and I can clear it with your teacher and the principal. But you have to wear snow pants outside. Deal?”
Parenting is a trip. Each week I'm doing more of it. When I spoke to the girls parents that threw the party at my house she jokingly said, "way till your daughter is 17", I imagine it's a whole lot more complicated arguing with them than it is a child in a supermarket. -Perhaps not so different though, unless you teach them how to successfully argue, then it might even be a joy to partake in.I do think it's a good practice to address the merits of a kid's argument, but IMO, like everything in life, there is no one approach works all the time. Also, different kids probably respond better or worse to the same approach. It seems that even in the same family, some kids need more discipline, and some need less.
I suppose managing your family isn't so different from managing a team or a work force. The best results come from managing to the individual and not the group. Everyone has different motivating factors but I would guess that listening to the merits of someones ideas is always a good call, whether it be a child's argument or an adults business plan. How you respond once you've listened should vary on the quality of the argument put forth and your desired outcome.
That was one hell of a read. Every parent with a child that whines when they are shopping should read this (actually, EVERY parent should read it). No need to force your authority on a child (I AM YOUR PARENT AND YOU LISTEN NOW!) when you can tell him/her she sucks at argumenting (That argument won’t work, sweetheart. It isn’t pathetic enough) :p
I enjoyed it too. I think I'll pick up his book.