Dude I am feeling the pull into that weedy ditch. It's so easy to feel bereft and aimless when money is tight. I don't have much advice but I am here in solidarity. Small things I do to boost my mood - Yoga - Pitcher of cold water in the fridge (Usually with lemon or orange) - Practice good sleep hygiene (Cut screen time before bed, no intoxicants for an hour or two before) I don't know how many hours/week you have spare, but I suggest spending some portion of them meditating, if you're not already. Does a world of good. I know that there are other hubskiers using various apps and stuff. I like Jack Kornfield and Sharon Salzberg, both who have a lot of resources on youtube.
I was telling someone else about how much I enjoy the practice of meditation but I allow myself to be "too busy" to do it routinely. It's also this irrational hurdle of money: $15 a month for headspace seems too high, but that's two drinks on a night out when I'll spend $100. I make no sense to myself. I love the pitcher of cold water idea. I have some lemons but no pitcher. I'm going to fix this. The sleep is a tough one. In another pubski I mentioned the lack of good sleep I was experiencing because of neighborhood noises. But I've fixed that mostly with a loud fan between the windows and I. I'm also having a housewarming party soon and hope the place will cheer up. Thanks OB
From what I understand this is the beginnings of true self awareness, and I recognize a similar kind of insanity in myself. I believe this kind of realization (RE: drinks on a night out) dovetails nicely with what KB was saying about 'bitchin bachelor pad and cheap vino.'It's also this irrational hurdle of money: $15 a month for headspace seems too high, but that's two drinks on a night out when I'll spend $100. I make no sense to myself.