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comment by oyster
oyster  ·  2542 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: I don't know what to call this bitch

Consider who you were 10 year's ago, 5 years ago, 3,2,1 and try to understand that "who you are" is fluid. If you don't want to be a certain way than you don't have too. I'm a bit of a mess right now too, left therapy because I couldn't afford it and probably won't have time for it this summer but I'm still pushing on. What sucks about my healing process is that I had to accept if I want to feel all these good, positive emotions I also have to open myself up to the bad,negative ones fully. I can't tell you what your problem is, but I do know that realizing things about yourself and properly seeing who you are is a step in the right direction even if it feels like shit. I spent the first two weeks of therapy crying myself to sleep every night, whenever I have a breakthrough in understanding I sob inconsolably until I feel significantly better. That of course is followed with realizing the problem isn't fixed yet and how the hell do I do that. People look for approval from others because they don't know how to value themselves, or they put up a front and instead value the made up person ( it doesn't work). Learn to like certain things about yourself, including the things that will help you turn around the things you don't like.