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comment by coffeesp00ns

"Would trans people exist if we didn't have gender as a social structure?" is a big one. It's even been asked here.

It's just such a pointless question that is functionally designed to discredit the trans experience. "Your existence is only a thing because of the way our culture is, and is therefore invalid", is basically what they are trying to say.

It also makes little sense because there are other cultures which have more than two genders (both currently and historically). Basically, humans as a species have been trying to explain trans people for thousands of years, and have mostly been unsuccessful.

Most of the questions that I hate getting are the ones that are leading - people with a little bit of information and a whole lot of opinion who want to tell me how wrong I am for being trans, or want to create a "gotcha" moment. Like, Yes, i did in fact decide to play my life on Hard Mode and decided to be trans - Like, come on, really? I don't have all the answers because science doesn't have all the answers either - no one does so far as we can tell - but that doesn't mean that I can be dismissed because I make your life inconvenient (the plural you, not you specifically).

blackbootz  ·  864 days ago  ·  link  ·  

The question was from a place of ignorance, and was asking for your insight. I am not trying to discredit the trans experience, neither actively nor by "functionally designing" questions.

If you read that sort of malice in me, then I'm not sure what hope there is in us talking over the internet. Like I'm for real confused as to how, in my effort to be respectful when baring my ignorance to you, I piss you off. More than confused, I'm discouraged and upset. I couched my question about gender identity in pointing out how clueless cisgendered jocks are to what grounds their identity. What was leading about my question was me asking you to speak to cisgendered masculinity, something you might not know personally about because you identify differently. I was still just asking your opinion. If you thought it was leading because I was asking you to discredit the trans experience, you have me wholly mistaken.

coffeesp00ns  ·  864 days ago  ·  link  ·  

naw man, If I was pissed off specifically at you, I would have responded directly to you instead of . You just happened to ask a question that does often get asked with malice in the heart. I got where you were coming from, and took your question in the spirit it was asked, which seemed to be a good one to me.

blackbootz  ·  864 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Sorry for assuming you were sneak throwing shade at me. I guess I'll never learn not to ass u me.

coffeesp00ns  ·  864 days ago  ·  link  ·  

you're fine. It was definitely written unclearly. <3