Can attest. I was a pretty big fan of poetry in college and for a while after. I did not have an appreciation for the slam scene. That said, a lot of poets tend to get their name out there through awards, critic reviews, and word of mouth. Book swaps were also a pretty common thing for us too.
Where are you from and what was your poetry scene like?
Oh. I'd assume the poetry scene back then wasn't too different from other places. There were bars with slam poets, coffee shops full of artsy fartsy people, people of all types and ages participating. I didn't stick around the scene long myself actually, as there were a lot of people with very large personalities (in my opinion, often unearned) and I found I could get my fix just by reading and avoid the egos.
Well these days in the poetry scenes I'm in, the personalities aren't as large as I'm not in new york city. There is more of a community feel these days but sometimes it feels like there isn't enough criticism sometimes unless you ask for it. New York City has some more larger personalities though.
Egos seem to be everywhere. I'm starting to think it's manners as much as humility and openness that helps keep them in check. As for criticism, tell people to be open. Tell people to be brutal, if need be. Sometimes the best thing you can do to change, is let yourself get hurt a little bit. Do you guys ever do writing exercises? Not only do they help you guys become better writers, they also help you become better critics and more receptive to criticism.