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comment by kleinbl00
kleinbl00  ·  2758 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: How to be Perfectly Unhappy

    I guess I like seeing that there are other people out there pouring their heart and soul into things, having varied interests, and who still struggle with the things I do.

That's literally everyone on the planet. Look -

There's nothing novel in this, other than Matt's insistence on a straw-man argument against a false definition as prompted by the essay of a lying sack of shit. You said you needed to internalize this, so start with this:

The difference between depression and normalcy is that you are neurochemically compelled to experience the lows more and the highs less. All us humans have much the same experience in life due to overwhelmingly similar circumstances, anatomy, chemistry and culture. Obviously there's a difference between a slumkid in Calcutta and Tori Spelling but we all wake up, we all poop, we all eat, we all talk to other people and constantly negotiate our place in the world. Sometimes this pleases us, sometimes this frustrates us.

I know a girl who is off work this year with a "lupus-related disorder." I have never seen her not smiling. She's amazing. She's loved by everyone. I know one of her best friends who, for her entire life, has had a weird smile related to a giant bony growth on her face that didn't get removed until she was 14. She's always smiling, too. She's amazing, too. She's also loved by everyone. Now - a lot of that is upbringing. A lot of that is conditioning. A lot of that is a willful desire to be optimistic. But a lot of it is chemistry, too.

If there's any truth in the article, it's that some people have less happiness in their chemistry than others. I mean, did we really need a 30-panel Oatmeal comic to tell us that? Some people don't have enough to get by, some people have plenty to share. What you got, what I got, what everyone else gots is worth noting and worth internalizing but fuckin' A, yo, you knew that in Kindergarten.

Here's the take-away: People who are happy attract others to them. People who are not drive them away. I'm fuckin' salty right now - nine hours yesterday trying to get a phone system working on my day off. Haven't talked to my daughter in 3 days. The only thing to eat is frozen burritos and granola bars because I didn't have time to go to the grocery store yesterday and today I had to spend that time tuning the bike. But I'm not posting that shit in Pubski because who the fuck wants to hear me whine? It's bad enough to listen to me throw shade on Apple all day.

Fake it 'til you make it. You will get no "happier" by dwelling in your unhappiness and holding it around you like a cloak. Whenever someone asks you "why aren't you happy?" they're really asking "what can I do to make your experience better because I want to spend time with you but it's hard."

Depression is the act of driving away that which you need the most. And that is something you can work on, and definitely something to internalize.