No mushrooms today although I did have a perfect day of work for thinking this over so I'm glad I read this before I started. Hours of cutting down trees/shrubs, shovelling and hacking at roots proves to be a great time to mull things over. I feel for people who don’t have a healthy dose of destruction in their lives while I get paid for mine.

Back to this, what I'm talking about is a little different from social media and forums. I'm talking about as a young child when I needed to know something, when I couldn't put my thoughts into words I could find an article or video to help me. All the information I need is on the internet and I can access it without asking anybody for it. Before I wrote this post I tried to find an article to describe what I was thinking for me.

You're completely right though, that parental guidance does hold weight. I actually remember once my mom telling me that even if I'm not planning on having sex I should go on the birth control pill. I was 17 by then, I had already sat through about 6 sex ed classes, a parenting class, and googled everything else I needed to know. I'm pretty sure I already advised my older sister on how to get a prescription in our city. So even though I already knew everything she said that one comment stuck with me and actually made me feel something. There's an emotional component to getting guidance from a parent that you just don't get from a generic article on a public health site

To put it crudely it's like replacing sex with masturbation. It serves the purpose enough to leave you satisfied for a while but then one day you lay there in the after glow asking yourself what the fuck you just watched/read while trying to remember the last time you had actual intimate physical contact with another person and wondering what that felt like. The desire for connection is completely still there, so it is the ability to form it that's lacking. Getting everything from the internet may have made me a functioning member of society but emotionally it didn't do much good. Nothing makes me happier than when I teach my niece how to do something or when she's staring at me trying to figure out how to do what I'm doing. Lately she started clapping for herself when she does something like put her own hat on and it melts my heart. So I know I want the connection and I know I'm capable of it I just have to figure out how to do it with adults. I suppose I've got plenty of time to figure that out.