Hhhnnnnnggg

It's fascinating how much of my decision making process I've crowdsourced to Hubski lately. I say that because as each new development occurs in my life, among my first thoughts are, "I wonder what my third place has to say about this."

steve, determinedkid... it seems that my moving to Colorado is a little less sure this week than it was two weeks ago. That's because the guy I've been working for -- a successful, self-made guy who runs an internet company and also owns and operates a bunch of rental properties -- thinks it would be a great idea to expand our relationship and to hire me on a more full-time basis. I've been doing part-time general labor and repairs for him, as well as more sophisticated stuff like contract review and data analysis. The work is interesting because of the access I get to his businesses. He's showing me all sorts of things all the time, bouncing problems and ideas off me, letting me look under the hood and ask lots of questions. And he's an absolute joy to work for/with. He's trusting, super smart, accommodating and flexible. Not to mention, he's also an interesting and hilarious guy. The pay isn't anything to write home about... but I am without a college degree or relevant work experience. A raw bundle of potential, but not much more.

I've been working for him for the last few months while in Baltimore. Two weeks ago, we had a long conversation about how great it's been working together, and our conclusion was that it was an exciting thought the idea of us continuing our relationship for another year or two.

On the one hand, I've been planning to move Colorado for lord knows how long, and a lot of you guys have been very privy to this goal. And it feels jarring and a bit disconcerting to consider changing my course so abruptly. On the other hand... the process of weighing this decision has made me realize that there is a lot of good things here for me. I could live rent-free with my wonderful mom. I could start school a lot sooner than if I were to try and move to Colorado, establish residency, and transfer colleges (not to mention it would be a much more of an assured process). I'd be nearer friends and family. And goals that have been pie-in-the-sky up to this point would be a lot more accomplishable, like affording Invisalign (wear your retainers, kids) and continuing my mission of helping underserved communities, like those in Baltimore. Actually, my discovery of all these resources and opportunities here at home that I've been unconsciously looking past in favor of greener pastures has been kind of embarrassing. Immigrants everywhere would be ruefully disappointed with me.

The way I talk about it, it feels like the decision has already been made. And I've just been resisting gravity. In any case, it's helpful for me to put this all into words. As it stands now, my boss is going to write up a proposal for the commitment between us for me to then look over, and I think I'll get it in the next week or so. From there, it's a matter of me saying yes or no. Life, man.