While I did wish you the best in your first session - I did have a feeling it would go like this, uneasy, perhaps a little forced in the interactions from both parties? Obviously Anna does want to help you; but a common issue I've heard from people who have tried therapy is that the therapist are quite literally being paid to talk to you about your issues and to help you find a solution - apparently it can remove some of the "natural" interaction you might have been aiming for, despite it never coming up in conversation with the therapist. Even some people who learn my degree was in Psych (just a BSc nothing too intense) clam up a little and they say they don't want me "trying to figure them out" - so I think your unease about opening up with someone who can and will try and discern your personality is pretty common. Even though my usual response to people who say that to me is "I don't have the training for that" and if I like them "And you aren't that interesting anyway". My therapist was a lovely lady named Julianne - When this was initially organized I went online, found the team I wanted to go into therapy with and decided she had a warm smile. Terrible way to go about it some might say but it worked wonders. She was very engaging, but I talked a lot. Like, a huge amount - she would occasionally take notes when I got onto a new subject but it was me just going into tangents (as you've described) and her painting a picture of my history and experiences and what led me to needing therapy. However, I'm proud of you for doing it. It's harder than many would believe and now you have some experience to pull from. Message me again sometime man, we've talked about many things - I was hoping to discuss music with you next! Just remember, even strangers are proud of you and want you to succeed. You must be an alright guy.
Contrary to what I've expected, that was not what I felt when I came in. It felt, instead, as if I hired a professional to deal with the issues I'm having - similar to hiring a plumber to deal with the bathroom issues or a programmer to deal with coding issues. I guess it's no surprise that I didn't feel very open; it was a dissonance between "just help me deal with the problem" and "I gotta tell you things about myself that I don't usually tell to anyone but my friends". I think that I'd be more open with you than with any given psychologist given our first meeting because you'd be a friend, BSc or no BSc. Having someone emphasized as educated about the human psyche as I am would make me feel more open, whether you actually have this kind of education. I'll message you at some point. I sometimes leave some messages to later because I don't have the mental capacity to reply at a given point, and it just lazes into passivity with time. It doesn't mean I'm not interested - just that I'm a bit stuck, mentally. I'll be fine, just need some time out. That part is still odd to me: people I don't know feel good about my progress. But... I guess I understand that, given that I do feel that about others as well, and I guess it's alright. I appreciate people taking time to address me with congratulations and support, and I like to do the same to those whom I respect even a little bit. It makes sense internally, so I guess there's no fault at having it being addressed onto me.a common issue I've heard from people who have tried therapy is that the therapist are quite literally being paid to talk to you about your issues and to help you find a solution
Just remember, even strangers are proud of you and want you to succeed. You must be an alright guy.