I've been thinking a lot about what you wrote, and... thank you. I went through quite some stages trying to figure out the proper response to your words - but, thankfully, this time, I went past the nastier ones. I realized that I've been... what's the phrase... so "over myself"? "into"? That is, I've been taking myself, my "safety" from harm, real or imaginary, way too seriously, which is what lead me to be offended by your words earlier. I realized, as well, that whatever "license to harass" that you might get from me just letting your words pass through, doesn't matter. You might tell me a lot of things, and it doesn't matter what bad things you say about me as long as you don't hurt me in any way (which excludes not paying attention to actual bullying from the rule, thus giving me the line with which to measure actual potential damage of the situation). You're not the one to define me, nor is anyone but myself, so whatever you say is your opinion as long as it doesn't harm my activities. I'm grateful for you taking your time to write this. I'm lacking an awful lot of understanding about human relationships and interactions with the world, and it's words such as yours that give me the much needed insight. I appreciate you putting effort into explaining this to me instead of simply walking away. Thank you. And about drugs - you've given me quite a bit to think about, as well. It feels odd to discuss drug usage with someone, but I think it's going to result in at least a good insight.
Stop. Please just stop. You're the spitting image of my roommate. Well, maybe not, he's much whinier. But there's still that thinly veiled "woe is me attitude" that I always get from him. You'd like to believe you've taken something away from this, but you just went on a three-paragraph-long rant about how much this didn't hurt your feelings, with a tiny sidenote about the main fucking topic at the end. Come on, dude. It feels childish. You wanna know why I came back to hubski? Three weeks back I dealt with some, hella, hella racist shit. And I just hit this level of Zen, where I realized that I can't change anyone's opinion. Their bigotry is always going to be there, their opinions are always going to be there. It's not my job to get them to understand, and it's not really my job to listen to them either. And it's the same here. There's really no point in me taking some of the pseudo-intellectual libertarian bullshit that I have to put up with. The amount of people I like here outweighs that. SO i'm askin' ya to actually take C-dude's post to heart, without getting defensive. Stop taking yourself so seriously. It's the internet. There are things about it I'd change, but it also let me make a close friend after punching her lights out in Street Fighter. Take a breather.
I'm pretty sure that he'll think about drugs and drug use a bit differently after reading my comment. His new perspective will lead to other new revelations. No idea if it will lead to a perspective that I agree with but I think that regardless of how he perceived my motive and how personally he took my criticism the damage of new perspective has been done. And yes I pretty much loath 99% of video game music. Listen to the score for anywhere from a minute to a few hours and then I turn that shit off. Good anime is good and I have no problem with it. Seems like there are people who only like and like all anime and that is obnoxious. Play all the Pokemon you want, just don't tell me all about it. People with one or just a few interest and topics of conversation are booking. My wife watches a lot of Star Trek, it's swell, but our living room isn't done up like the Enterprise.
It's funny. Your comment almost made me forget what I actually took away from cgod's comment. I've been the weirdo all my life, for everyone but a few people. Nobody seems to get my vibe, even those few. I explain myself because I don't like that. I explain myself because I'd like to get in touch with people despite my disconnect from my feelings and empathy, despite my lack of social skills that my narcissistic parents never let me develop and despite people always telling me how weird I feel to them. I have very strong emotions. I can't sense them in the way most people seem to. It's like looking at a table full of things and not being unable not only to name them but to recognize them at all. Yet, I experience them all the same, and their strength is not dimished by my lack of understanding. I feel very disconnected from even myself, and that adds a lot to an already big pile of self-resentment that I've grown to accumulate, in big part due to people telling me I act weirdly. I'm a writer, and I like to explain things long-hand because it feels right. It allows for avoiding confusion and for a better sound, with more clever turns of the phrase and wittier explanation of complex ideas. It allows me to feel less like a weirdo and more like a person - someone that's more that just the uncomfort to others. I explain myself long-hand because it feels most right. I had a lot of scenarios on how to reply to you, none of them but this successful. You're a respected member of this community - so respected that when you rage-quitted, people wanted you back with the kind of attachment I've rarely, if ever, seen before. I'm explaining this to you because I appreciate this community, and I appreciate this community because here, for the second time in my life, I feel like I'm not just a weirdo; like I can have a conversation with other human beings and actually feel them, instead of just nodding out of politeness. For me, this means a lot. I don't know if I want to appreciate you at the moment, but I'm willing to explain myself to you in case that beyond that rant of yours, you're a reasonable person who's got a case of inappropriate image juxtaposition from a previous acquaintence of yours. If that isn't good enough for you, there's nothing else I can offer, so you'll have to just live with it. For all my flaws, I believe myself to be a decent person - decent enough, at least, not to take shit from someone who doesn't even know me, let alone pay respect to someone they've never had a conversation with.