Good luck!I must admit: I'm still reluctant to do it due to the inner critic wordlessly telling me that I don't deserve it, and the wordless beliefs are the hardest to counter), I could use your support and outside perspective on things.
We are just people on the Internet. -granted, some of them are pretty awesome people, but still we are largely unable to help you. You need to go see someone. I think the will help greatly. You can do it!!! Take steps towards it today. I have always found that female therapists have been much better, for me. Also, I have liked therapists that take a more mindful approach. -sounds like you are working on silencing your "inner critic" -fins someone that has experience towards that end.
Thanks, Steve; I appreaciate your support, but... ...you're wrong. People of Hubski, including you, have been of tremendous help to me so far, making me think about what's going on from other vantage points - which is exactly what I need. I have the resources to overcome many obstacles I face (if not all) - all I need is to understand it and to see the way to do it, and people here have been kind enough and insightful enough to provide me with as much data as I could never hope to acquire on my own. A lot of my personal problems are gone or dimished thanks to what the Hubskifolk told me through the time I've spent here. If that's not help, I don't know what is. I checked out the uni physchological service today. The cost is quite expensive for my finances - 500 RUB per hour - but... I guess it's worth it. I'll need some time to gather up with going there, but I've saved all the important info. I'll take care of moving to a better apartment first, as it ought to improve my mental state overall.still we are largely unable to help you