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We did a ceremony on an island on a Wednesday. There were 13 people there. Then we did a reception a month later at my uncle's house. We sprang for the alcohol and the rest of it was a potluck. The downside? you don't get to extort presents from everyone. The upside? We were less than $2000 out of pocket, including putting up our parents on an island.
We have 180 invited. It's pretty insane, but that's what she wanted. It's not too bad, the guest list is 80% her side and she knows she's responsible for the size and therefore stress so she's taking on the brunt of the work. It still makes me sad to see someone I love learn a hard lesson.