...God Damn It!
I wanna vent, because this blatant abuse of one's mentality drives me crazy.
Here's the thing: many Russians are fatalists. If the vent is leaking, they'll say "Fuck it: it pumps water, right?" and go on about their lives until the vent fucking bursts, leaving the whole room underwater. If the roof is leaking when it rains, they'll say "Fuck it: it still holds, right?" - until it fucking breaks and flushes them whole. Something isn't right in the way that shelf hangs? "Fuck it: it still hangs, right?" - until it fucking drops, breaking their fucking precious vases and ripping book covers off.
Those are just meaner examples. When everything's good and there's one thing left to fix for it to be just right, they can go about it for years, noticing the little thing every now and again but still leaving the room without fixing a thing.
God fucking damn it! How can you possibly be that stubborn?!
"My life isn't good and I know a way to make it a bit better, but instead, I'm going to shit on myself and let it get worse until it fucking crashes on my head, preferably to my death"...
* * *
I'm taking part in an Internet community whose point is to assist others in making their forum RPGs better - either by writing some material for them, correcting what they've written or, most importantly for the case, making a design for them.Just now, I saw a comment of a member of the community about how the changes I proposed for the design (I've even made a few examples myself and shown them publicly) don't matter, because "we're still lagging from the forums host, and we crash sometimes still, so I don't see a point in making those changes".
And it's not like I'm proposing something radical: change pictures for CSS to reduce time-to-ready, make the custom emoticon table equal with hints of attention to details (right now, it looks like a bunch of images thrown in with no style whatsoever - because it fucking is), on other words - reduce your own portion of time-to-ready where you can without damaging the interface and make users feel good about the design that they might commision some time later.
Nope! Fuck that, dude! I don't feel like it!.. even though I contributed nothing to the cause and will have no problems with using it later! Nah, here's shit, this' trash, just scrape the whole thing!..
I'm not an angry man. I have a lot of emotions bottled, and this has made the anger threshold higher than most have it. So you know that, if I swear so much in a single post, then I'm fucking angry about this shit! This fatalism is killing them, and this fatalism is killing me! To waste one's time and effort in such a manner and still expect others to do something for you - for you to speak ill of it later anyway? Fuck -- me -- dammit!
Thank goodness this guy is not from the admins. Otherwise, I'd just leave this mess. I really like helping people, especially as they create the literary works that FRPGs often are, mxing together the mastery of word and of acting. It's these asshats that make me want to quit.