...God Damn It!
I wanna vent, because this blatant abuse of one's mentality drives me crazy.
Here's the thing: many Russians are fatalists. If the vent is leaking, they'll say "Fuck it: it pumps water, right?" and go on about their lives until the vent fucking bursts, leaving the whole room underwater. If the roof is leaking when it rains, they'll say "Fuck it: it still holds, right?" - until it fucking breaks and flushes them whole. Something isn't right in the way that shelf hangs? "Fuck it: it still hangs, right?" - until it fucking drops, breaking their fucking precious vases and ripping book covers off.
Those are just meaner examples. When everything's good and there's one thing left to fix for it to be just right, they can go about it for years, noticing the little thing every now and again but still leaving the room without fixing a thing.
God fucking damn it! How can you possibly be that stubborn?!
"My life isn't good and I know a way to make it a bit better, but instead, I'm going to shit on myself and let it get worse until it fucking crashes on my head, preferably to my death"...
* * *
I'm taking part in an Internet community whose point is to assist others in making their forum RPGs better - either by writing some material for them, correcting what they've written or, most importantly for the case, making a design for them.Just now, I saw a comment of a member of the community about how the changes I proposed for the design (I've even made a few examples myself and shown them publicly) don't matter, because "we're still lagging from the forums host, and we crash sometimes still, so I don't see a point in making those changes".
And it's not like I'm proposing something radical: change pictures for CSS to reduce time-to-ready, make the custom emoticon table equal with hints of attention to details (right now, it looks like a bunch of images thrown in with no style whatsoever - because it fucking is), on other words - reduce your own portion of time-to-ready where you can without damaging the interface and make users feel good about the design that they might commision some time later.
Nope! Fuck that, dude! I don't feel like it!.. even though I contributed nothing to the cause and will have no problems with using it later! Nah, here's shit, this' trash, just scrape the whole thing!..
I'm not an angry man. I have a lot of emotions bottled, and this has made the anger threshold higher than most have it. So you know that, if I swear so much in a single post, then I'm fucking angry about this shit! This fatalism is killing them, and this fatalism is killing me! To waste one's time and effort in such a manner and still expect others to do something for you - for you to speak ill of it later anyway? Fuck -- me -- dammit!
Thank goodness this guy is not from the admins. Otherwise, I'd just leave this mess. I really like helping people, especially as they create the literary works that FRPGs often are, mxing together the mastery of word and of acting. It's these asshats that make me want to quit.
Here, have some American optimism: Hang in there, TFG! Don't let the haters get you down.
Shit. Thanks, pal. That was nice to hear, especially after the thunderstorm of hatred that I've caused by actually replying to the guy. I have no idea whether I'm shit of a person or others are too stubborn to accept what I propose without feeling offended, which is the most unsettling in those situations. Should I even be bothered by that, or should I march on towards what I feel is right? People start to think funny when their egos are bothered - which applies to me, as well.
Well I'd say try not to take it personally (which I know can be rather hard). If you can get through that part, there may be a way to win them over to your point of view. But it's also possible that you're never able to see eye-to-eye. In my industry this is euphemistically called "creative differences" and one side or the other leaves the project. If something is causing boiling rage every time you even think about it, it might not be worth continuing. Obviously I can't determine who is "right" in this situation because I don't know all the details, and I can't hear from the other side so I have no idea what their point of view is. All I can say is that if a consensus can't be reached, and tensions are high on both sides, you may just want to back away for a bit. They may not be in a situation where they think they can do the things you want them to, and it's not worth arguing about. You see it one way, they see it another, and ne'er the twain shall meet. Or it's possible that they'll sleep on it and realize that what you're saying is good and they'll apologize and everything will be fine and dandy. That would be nice!