Chris didn't know it, but he died today. With a simple squeeze, he ended two lives. It wasn't out of hate or greed. Not his, at least. It was a job, a mission, an unfortunate side effect of his profession. Though he'd never met the real Rabar, over the next year the man would come to him again and again, haunting his every breath. Did he have a wife? A child? Grandchildren? Each time was different, though strangely the same. In the end, it didn't matter. With one hand on the wheel and the other gripping a bottle, Chris closed his eyes and pushed the pedal to the floor. Hope this isn't too late to be submitted. Feedback is always welcome.
Good. I think you have a very good conceptual skill and I like how well the concept tied everything together. It's very cryptic in content which makes for a nice little progression from one death to the other. But it's also kind of cryptic in description so it feels like it hops around a lot. Maybe working on transitions, but I think part of it is the fact that so much time passes in such a small story. You could try to keep Chris in his car, he kills from the car, he thinks in the car, he drives around depressed in the car, he dies in the car, that might cement the reader into the reality. Like I said, the concept is great and if you get the physical descriptions it'll be amazing.
Thanks for the review. Agreed on the setting, I had the same feeling of "skipping" for lack of a better term. I appreciate the kind words.