Good ideas and conversation. No ads, no tracking. Login or Take a Tour!
Good. I think you have a very good conceptual skill and I like how well the concept tied everything together. It's very cryptic in content which makes for a nice little progression from one death to the other. But it's also kind of cryptic in description so it feels like it hops around a lot. Maybe working on transitions, but I think part of it is the fact that so much time passes in such a small story. You could try to keep Chris in his car, he kills from the car, he thinks in the car, he drives around depressed in the car, he dies in the car, that might cement the reader into the reality. Like I said, the concept is great and if you get the physical descriptions it'll be amazing.