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Hand written insanity: http://imgur.com/a/59vYU

Sorry - the first pages are a letter to you - the others are my personal notes and I was excited/ rushing/ hadn't eaten between 2pm and midnight when I left the office that night ~ (and then went to a supermarket to buy some food to eat, because I felt that was the correct thing to do...)

Transcript (with extra notes n__n)

Hi guys - maybe it's my hunger/ shakiness - but I don't think I have ever felt so excited and passionate about anything in my life [swirly squiggle]

I knew "INTJ" a long time ago and it was a revelation - but clicking "random" on Reddit, I came here - learned a lot and realised:

1. I hate my job

2. what my life calling is.

I love creativity, programming, tech - but suck at implementing or even initial “making”

The thing is that rather than be a programmer or artist - I need to become a creative director or tech consultant.

(I tell them how) [arrows pointing to the below 2 things] (story, song, i.t. thing) -> (people making it)

This would be more than perfect

I wouldn’t get bored

I could be creative, driven, mill over things, absorb info - and turn it into gold etc. (which I do every day anyway)

I wouldn’t have to “make” anything or perform (I’m lazy and never make my concepts or solutions)

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = [[the above is a letter to Reddit, the below is my thought process and personal notes]] - written before the above text

Strength - introverted intuition - internal processing of ideas and concepts - problem solving and creative things.

programming and IT - using thinking to mull over problems

creative directing - mulling over creative projects and formulating concepts

- collaborate and allow others to implement everything

Google, Apple, Pixar, Dreamworks

Creative Director (or) -> director (emphasis lines of intense-ness)

directed by Benjamin G (fanciest embellishment I have ever drawn subconsciously)

(insert research break here) - during this time I had like 40 tabs open and I was doing a million things at once, and then slowly finishing them all within the 6 hours. //

It is extremely hard to become a film director - you need a film reel.

Concepts not implementation

YouTube - don’t make art - direct the creative process and vision for other people to make.

Make videos describing concepts for:

music videos

short stories (scary from reddit /r/shortscarystories )

short films and books

Let others make the films and cite : “creative director; Pushka” (in fancy writing) and send link (ask them to send me their work) look for volunteer actors, writers, sponsors

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

[[this is my notes for a YouTube video I wanted to make]]

YouTube - hello my name is Pushka and my mind has been blown, my world has been rocked upside down. intro to two videos

I just learned about my mental disorders (nothing major - just social anxiety and unhealthy attachment/ emotionally unavailable - mainly means that I sabotage and destroy my romantic relationships - but all that doesn’t matter now - because I want to reach my goal more than have a perfect relationship ..oranyrelationship...)

I just found my calling - INTJ - problem solving, thinking, analysing

Google - creative director AHHHH!!! (scribbling) n__n (by the way, I love Google, which is silly because I’m a bit minimalist/ anticonsumerist - but I love the company culture, their vision and mission etc. - it used to be my dream to work there, but I’m not amazing at programming, and I lacked confidence in my abilities/ worth, and though I would be happy doing literally anything in the company, I’d hate to be in an amazing place doing something stupid..) -I have had my life’s greatest epiphany (more scribbling)

Something I love and believe in - am passionate about - love - am good at - slash my mind is designed for it (lots more scribbling) hehe... Critique other concepts on Google+ Collection - Pushka 2

[In bold/ in pink - large writing] I am going to get a job at Google as a creative director/ system designer consultant or I’ll become a world famous director (the t has three slashes through it because I’m stoically excited, determined and passionate)