Not a mom, but had a similar experience re: being a bulldog and a bitch and working hard thinking I was getting what I wanted. It was what I wanted, for a time. Then my partner and I were talking about kids, and how we would do that . The idea of working so many hours in order to employ someone else to raise our kids just seemed backwards. What were we working so hard for anyway? Professional recognition in an employment environment where our jobs were priority but our employers viewed us as replaceable? No matter how may gold-stars we had on our resume, there was always someone with 1 more willing to take our places.

I used to look down on women who I thought couldn't handle the pressure. What I realize now is that I was trying to prove something at the cost of my own happiness. If a woman wants to be an economic powerhouse, she should be able to. I wish the workplace had been more validating for me. Maybe that's a contributing factor in why I left, but I'm really glad I did. My partner and I both work from home now. We moved to a state with a lower cost of living, set up a remote office, and are working towards making an environment where we can actually raise our own kids when we get them.

If feminism is about male/female equity, then I would say that this is an extremely feminist choice. Being able to decide what our family will look like, how it will be funded and raised is extremely empowering. I want my kids to grow up with a mom that makes her own path, and has clearly defined values, family (real family, not rhetorical christian family) being one of them.