Of course! It's good to talk about it, I think.

About knowing if I'm better, I'm afraid I don't have as much data to expose as I'd like to -- my depression/anxiety were the result of bad decisions and the availability of psychoactive drugs at a New Year's party. I took wayy too much, more than a normal human should, and it had it's toll on my brain. I won't go into details, but I had a super panick attack during a trip. I ended quickly, and I enjoyed the rest of the party, and after going home and being normal for a couple of hours, I went to sleep. When I woke up like a day later I was different. I suffered from depression/anxiety. This happened about 6 months ago, so while I don't have an exact copy of my mind before I do have a pretty good idea.

In regards to the difference between adjusting to a strange mental state versus actually getting better that's complicated. I think that it's clear when you're getting better. Not ultra-clear, as getting better for me was definitely a very subtle and continuous process, and so I'd only ever notice (and still do) every once in a while, but it'll just be you noticing you feel better. That's how it was for me at least. It's like when I forget about my anxiety and suddenly remember and notice that I haven't even thought about it for the last X hours! That's always nice -- and a reminder that I can function and think like a normal person. It's possible, I'd imagine, to adjust to a strange state of mind and while that was a concern of mine, I don't think it has happened.

It's important to note that, while in my case I do have a pretty good idea of what my mind was before (I hope), comparing ourselves to our previous selves is moot. It's completely senseless. We change everyday, right now I'm a different person than I was 24 hours ago. While it might be tempting, it leads nowhere and can only make us feel worse. What's important is how we feel. Do you feel ok right now? Do you feel anxious? Do you feel more or less anxious today than you did yesterday? These are the most objective questions we'll ever have pertaining to wether we're better than we were before or worse.

In relation to your other questions, I myself knew I was getting better when I, for example, stopped being so anxious just riding the subway (I used to be afraid I'd jump onto the oncoming train or something). I genuinely felt better. As for when the worse is over, sometimes you just gotta hope it is. At a certain point I was unable to eat without having a panic attack (the days following my experience). I'd have a panic attack thinking about going to the supermarket to get some milk. Suddenly, things I'd always taken for granted were a challenge. It was absolute hell. Somehow, and without me even realizing it, things started getting better. Every once in a while I'd notice I no longer got as anxious when riding the bus, or going out, or whatever. That's how I knew I was getting better. I just felt better.

Of course, it isn't a straight line. I didn't notice myself getting better day after day. Somedays I was worse, somedays I was better. Hell, I'm still there. I'll have better days, and worse days -- but then, so does everyone else in the world. Sometimes I'd have a horrible week and I'd be scared I was going back, but every single time it would pass -- and that's one of the most helpful realizations I've come to -- things pass. Feeling bad pass. Anxiety passes. Depression passes. Nothing is life-ending. There's always hope, and it won't always be like this.

I can't talk about the light at the end of the tunnel, but then again, I don't think anyone can. Everyone's just walking through the tunnel, heading for the light. I feel good right now, and that's all that matters. I might (and certainly will) feel like shit again eventually, but I know that it's not permanent and I know that it gets better.

And hey, it's not good to self diagnose but I did too. You can always go to a psychologist -- while I've never been to one I have some psychologist friends and they're all great people whom, had I had the chance, I would've talked to.

It's fine to ask yourself wether you're feeling better or worse, (I was right there, I desperately wanted to compare myself to others and "rank" myself, have concrete evidence that I was getting better) but it's important to realize that only you can answer that. As I said, it's moot to compare yourself to your previous self or to others -- you never really know what someone else is feeling (unless you're really close to them) and so it's stupid to compare yourself to others. All that matters is how you feel -- and remember, if you've been feeling down lately, it'll pass.

Anyway, if you ever need an ear, I'm here. Seriously, I want to help, if you ever need it. And feel free to continue the discussion, it's always good to talk to people about these things.