"if I didn't need someone to act like they were interested in my opinion, I would have just stated it." That's not advice. That's not telling it like it is. It's just being mean.

This seems to me like a difference of opinion.

I spend a lot of time looking at sentences and writing and trying to get rid of every extraneous word. I also spend a lot of time thinking about why someone might say something, and about how things are said in order to elicit certain responses.

To me, with what may be an absurdly reductionist or detail-oriented interpretation, (I admit these things) there is no purpose to the use of filler words/expressions such as "Mmhmm," "Oh?", and so on in text conversation. I find that when a comment comprises only of filler or reactionary words or phrases without additional context, invariably, anyone who wishes to carry on a conversation is forced to ask the person who made the comment what they mean, or to elaborate, or so on. It's not even possible to tell, for example, whether "Mmhmm" is a negative or positive response. The conversation literally cannot continue in a logical (i.e., not non sequitor) manner in any other way but to ask the "mmhmm"-er to speak more. That is because with an empty comment like that, you give everyone else in the conversation nothing to go on or respond to.

So in my sights, no, I wasn't being mean or taking pot shots at you with that statement. I acknowledge fully that you may not have done this (made a filler comment to elicit questioning) deliberately. However, that's the impact of your action. I believe a lot of conversation and, generally, in-person interactions, are driven by subconscious, reptile-brain motivations that we aren't necessarily aware of.

For instance, I believe that audibly expressing pain becomes more about gaining attention than letting out hurt via verbal expression as the scale of the injury becomes more minor. In other words, if you yelp after a paper cut, you're not doing it because it hurts but because you want someone to feel bad with you. If you yelp when you fall off a deck and break your arm, you're doing it because it hurts - but, admit, there's an evolutionary advantage to letting your packmates know you're injured.

So yeah, I 100% believe that filler comments are more about drawing attention to oneself than contributing to the conversation. If you see that as me being mean, fine, but I assure you: it's nothing personal.

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As for whether or not you respond hastily to comments, I drew a conclusion based on my interactions with you, which is that you do indeed respond quickly, from the gut, to (my) posts.

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And as for whether my comment would do anything but upset you, I figure that is a natural reaction of anyone who is somewhat emotionally invested in a conversation and who feels attacked. It is natural to feel attacked when someone, a virtual stranger, picks apart your behavior. disagrees with you on general/potentially 'major' discussion topics, and in general doesn't try to be nice or mince words. You yourself state no one could read that comment and remain calm. I can't imagine that me, remarking on the ability of my own comment to irritate - acknowledging, in other words, that I understand and get that you may be pissed off - is the bulk of what elicited you feeling pissed off.

I anticipated you would be unhappy because I have had these conversations before and I have seen these conversations before. I understand how people react when other people call them out on shit. I've been that person called out as well as this person right here. I have gotten so mad at people on Hubski that I have had to walk away from digital media because otherwise I wouldn't be able to resist blowing up on them. When people don't get along, they make each other mad.

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Frankly, I appreciate the time & effort you put into your response.

I get that I make you mad. It might happen again. I do believe we're also capable of having conversations where we agree and even see eye-to-eye. There are people I vehemently disagree with on many things on this website that occasionally I find myself nodding to (much to my chagrin!) when I read their comments.

All I want is a mutual willingness to agree and acknowledge that we agree with each other, should that ever happen.

This happened, this wasn't fun, no one liked this. That doesn't mean that we're enemies. It doesn't even mean we're that different. I make you mad, I'm sure you can conclude that you've made me mad. Mad is not, or does not have to be a permanent state. We can mostly mutually dislike each other, even, and that's fine.

But I want you to know that I'm not making a permanent judgment about who you are and how I feel about you based on one or two unflattering conversation threads. People argue, and people communicate poorly, and those 2 things can create shitstorms and strong feelings but they certainly don't encapsulate the "who" a person is.

I've been where you are, getting smacked down on the internet by a jerk or perceived jerk. I know there's more to who you are than this interaction. It feels personal - I know - but it's not. I don't know you.

Someday on Hubski some topic is going to come up and we're going to find out we agree with each other completely about it. It'll be weird and maybe one or the other one of us won't want to, but if we are honest, we will find something we share. On that day, I will just begin to know you.

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WOOOO I GOT REALLY LONG AND PHILOSOPHICAL AND RAMBLY AND I THINK I LOST MY POINT AT THE END. I PROMISE THERE'S A POINT BUT I LOST MY WORDS. SORRY.