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She may not have "meant" it, but she still has to be responsible always for the words she says. Rather than avoiding her, ask her exactly what she meant. Then make an agreement with her that you each would be responsible for the words you say. If you also used words carelessly during your "bickering" (for example, "stop being such a bitch") -- then you too have to consider what you meant. If you want this relationship to grow up, create some rules for "bickering." Here's some that seem pretty good.