What does it mean to forgive?

I don't think I personally know what it really means to forgive. I have become expert in remembering how I have been treated by others, and while I rarely, rarely respond in kind, it most definitely informs our further interactions. I am an elephant in that way, and while it has served me well in life, I know that there are many times in which those deserving forgiveness have received cold treatment. That's my hairshirt, i suppose.

I do, however, know a good place to start when thinking about forgiveness - Or rather, a good person to start with when thinking about forgiveness: Hector Black.

Hector Black is an organic farmer who lives outside of Nashville, Tennessee. He served in the army during World War II and graduated from Harvard in 1949. He adopted Patricia Ann Knuckles while living in Atlanta, working in the civil rights movement. Patricia was murdered, then sexually assaulted by a home intruder who was stealing electronics/etc for drugs. The recordings below are an exposition of his journey to the forgiveness of Ivan Simpson, the man who killed his daughter.

There used to be a great "The Moth" Podcast, where I felt he explained his story best, but it seems to be unobtainium and I can't find it. In its stead:

RadioLab with Hector Black - http://www.radiolab.org/story/317629-dear-hector/

StoryCorps - Hector Black - http://storycorps.org/listen/hector-black/#

A link to the victim impact statement he wrote for the trial, and his notes after the trial: http://www.prisonerlife.com/articles/articleID=26.cfm

I am not a religious person. I would not go so far as to say i am anti-theist, but I have many significant problems with organized religion in most of its forms. That said, I admire the Quakers (of which Hector Black is one) and the Amish (who famously forgave the murderer of their children ) in their strict adherence to the forgiveness they find in their holy book. It is a difficult thing, and one that deserves significant credit.

I hope you find the kind of forgiveness that Hector Black holds in his heart.