yah… but first I need to backtrack a little and eat some humble pie. I might get closer than I think when I figure in the cost of a larger vehicle, healthcare, and dental… and to be honest - it's BLOODY WELL depressing to start counting the dollars.

My brain sees it like this - there are some costs you can control, and there are some that you kind of can't. For example - diapers… you can do cloth or disposable, and there are costs associated there… but whatever - unless you like living in a sewer - you've got to buy diapers of some kind - it's not a choice. Food is another necessity, but in my experience, one you have VASTLY more control over. You can grow a garden, you can make baby food instead of buying it. You can feed kids vegetables and whole grains cheaper than lunchables. There's a lot of ways to save money on food. So here is a list of other things that I can think of where we consciously make (sometimes un-fun) choices to be able to afford kids:

We rarely go out to eat with our kids - quarterly maybe?

We eat a lot of pancakes, vegetables, fruits, home-made bread, etc. We don't eat a lot of meat or processed food or drinks. (I'm not even a super health nut - it's just cheaper to eat fairly healthy).

We only buy used clothes or severely sale-priced clothes. We've been fortunate to get more than our share of hand-me-downs. Never underestimate the power of bargaining for cheaper prices at the Thrift Store.

New shoes are about the only luxury my kids have - and even those have to be bought on sale - I buy quality shoes - but not flashy ones.

We legitimately don't care about brand names or what's cool.

We live a "lesser" lifestyle to accommodate my wife staying home with the kids (no fancy cars, gym memberships, motorcycles, home theaters, vacations, etc.).

We don't live in a nice neighborhood (cheaper housing, but this really sucks because our kids don't have a lot of friends - this is the current dilemma).

We go to the free day at the museums.

We don't spend money on organized sports.

We just got cable TV for the first time in 8 years (because it was essentially free with internet)

I guess what I'm saying is - yah, kids are expensive, but you can do it. Kids don't need all the crap that is being sold and guilted on to parents. And here's a weird thought - stuff like clothes, cribs, carseats, jackets… any of those "durable" kids goods get their price amortized over the course of your family. That $100 car seat? if you've got one kid, it costs $100. If you've got 5, it cost $20. Not everything scales, like that, but it's food for thought.

When it comes down to it - kids cost money. A ton of money. I just think you can be frugal and be comfortably on the lower end of that number if you want to make some sacrifices.