I'll take a crack at this.

The first thing to understand is that the modern history of the Middle East is one of abject destabilization to the advantage of the Western Powers. Kipling called it "The Great Game" and we've been playing it since Napoleon invaded Egypt. The modern Middle East didn't evolve; it was partitioned out of the carcass of the Ottoman Empire partially by WWI; partially by the Treaty of Versailles. Pakistan is actually "PAKIstan" - it's an acronym for Punjab, Afghania, Kashmir, Sindh & BaluchiSTANhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pakistan#Etymology. This is the level of sensitive nation-building the region was saddled with.

The next thing to understand is that Iraq and Iran were run as vassal states of the British Empire, then vassal states of the United States. Attempts at democracy were deliberately put down by, well, us.

After that, consider that Saudi Arabia was "Arabia" until the baddest warlord on the block clobbered everyone else. Not that long ago, either - Abdulaziz bin Saud drove out the al Rashid in 1932. It's still a one-family rule - figuratively, the Hatfields beat out the Clampetts less than 80 years ago and Jed called the shots until Truman, Jed Jr until Carter, Jed's brother Jethro through Reagan and Jethro's brother Judd through Bush II.

Finally, keep in mind that nation states aren't really "the thing" in Islam and that whereas the Civil War was fought over boundaries and autonomy, much of the middle east has been fighting over the existence of boundaries and the necessity of autonomy. The Muslim Brotherhood of '50s Egypt really and truly is Al Qaeda.

There's this idea that the Middle East has always been a maelstrom of violence when in fact, it's been a maelstrom of violence while the US, England and France carved up the former Ottoman Empire for oil. The Ottomans weren't exactly great dudes but most of the violence of the recent middle east is directly attributable to foreign meddling.