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_refugee_  ·  3913 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Girls and Boys Together: Gender on Hubski

> I would have given the same advice had I known you were female.

That's good. That's the kind of reality I'd like to exist in. Unfortunately I don't think it's always true for a lot of people online. Your advice was harsh - but I appreciated it, in part because of its harshness - and I did wonder if it would have been less harsh if my gender had been known.

> If someone does not say "I'm a girl" I presume they'd prefer it not enter into the conversation. There is wisdom to this.

I'd agree...though I think it also still plays into the male-dominated nature of the internet/forums/whatever. A guy doesn't have to state he's a male in order for it to play into the discussion; the gender is assumed. I know I'm guilty of this - I for one assume all are male unless proven otherwise, and didn't realize insomniasexx was female at first. Of course, my chip-on-my-shoulder and determination to be treated "like any man" plays into that kind of patriarchy as well. Instead of wanting to prove I'm as good as members of other genders, I shouldn't feel that kind of pressure to "measure up" - in a perfect world, anyway, right? In the meantime I'll just be a pugnacious asshole.

> Generally the best move is to be gender-unspecified.

Yeah. I agree.