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I like this, but I feel like it raises questions. For example, the thing with butter. For me, that's clearly something my ma would recommend. It's my dad who would probably have taken me aside with some version of, "brace yourself, boy" and then tried to get me out of my jam by bending or breaking whatever jam I was in. Or let me stay there to think about how I shouldn't have gotten myself into the jam in the first place. Why is it that the dads didn't try to bend the bars first? Also, butter on wood? That's WD-40 time for sure. C'mon John.