All the delivery apps call me and try to get me to join up about twice a year.

I fuck with em and tell them I'm a bondage cafe and that I can't uber eats a spanking of a dry handy.

Or I tell them that they've been told not to call me and that I'd rather die than play their game and they should go fuck themselves.

They seem more surprised at me not wanting their valuable service than the bondage cafe thing. "I mean, why? I just want to know why you don't want us to deliver for you? I don't get it." None of the sales shit they brought at the start, just disbelief. Uber Eats is reality and anything that isn't appifyed is not viable in their world view. Little do they know that not Uber Eating is just the tip of the iceberg of me being a fucked up business man who does nothing that he's supposed to and getting along just fine.

Uber Eats can go fuck itself for all eternity. I used a food app once when I was at a hotel that had nothing but fast food around it, it was fine but fuck em, I don't need one more hand in my pocket as a producer or a consumer.