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lil  ·  1209 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: FRIENDSHIPS in the Covidium

    I enjoy sharing the stuff that I know and strive diligently to STFU about stuff I don't.

That's an attitude that I appreciate and what makes the things you do say more reliable.

Meanwhile, I went and read the situation with your friend and his wedding. I totally agree that all relationships are transactional in the sense that we should examine whether a friendship makes our lives better or worse and to let go of the ones that make our lives worse -- or, if not let go of them -- not feel trapped in those friendships: understand that we're making a choice to continue.

Re two things you wrote: I love the difference between, "hey, wanna see something" and "hey, can I show you something." and this line from the "stopped talking" story:

    I was in the process of drafting my response, as carefully and concisely as I could, when it boiled over. I was doing the thing that had the least impact for him, not for me. So I called him up . . .

I love both those statements because they show an awareness of the many ways we conduct our transactions and that awareness makes us more in control of our responses to interpersonal difficulties. It's so important, I think, ultimately for happiness. "It" meaning awareness of the impact our transactions have on others and on ourself.

Anyway, As I've said on this website before,

there are friends who are your friends and friends who are your caseload.