Here in the civilized, liberalized, modernized Pacific Northwest, we voted by mail two weeks ago and were able to confirm that our ballots had been accepted and tabulated a couple days later. There's an Excel spreadsheet on the fridge listing all of our votes in all races, from presidential down to hospital levy. There's a cheesecake my wife made, there's beer, and there will be a gluten-free pizza I will pick up for my daughter when I grab her early to go with the Pagliacci's a couple friends are bringing over.

Friends on Facebook baked a sheet cake and iced the states. They have red and blue icing waiting to fill in the outlines. Unfortunately they are far away and we've got my wife's cheesecake (one of the first results of my birthday present to myself so I think I'm going to print out a state map outline or two for my daughter to color in.

Polls start closing at 3pm our time.

I can do this early, enjoy the company of friends, and hopefully give my daughter a memory of where she was when her parents helped elect America's first woman president.

And I'm doing it here. By the time I get back to LA, all the salty republicans will have showered off their lather and the rest of us can be quietly smug.

I hope.