'k I'll play.
FIM-92C stinger missile, manufactured in California by Lockheed missile partners General Dynamics/Raytheon since 1978. 60" long, 33lbs weight, 6lb warhead, effective range 5 miles, terminal velocity Mach 2.5. Unit cost $38k, "hundreds unaccounted for" since the fall of Afghanistan.
Note: I'm not saying the ULA fired a stinger missile at SpaceX. They're... conspicuous.
But ruling out malfeasance via physics is a facile exercise. I mean yeah - Prolly wasn't a Parrot AR. But "we saw something suspicious a mile away" isn't crazytalk.