I thought we could be friends until I discovered you drink Caesars.

I bought a bottle of Perrier Jouet Fleur de Champagne to crack open when my daughter was born. It was delicious, and we still have the bottle 'cuz it's gorgeous. I bought a bottle of cask-strength Macallan in July 2004 to celebrate Kerry's victory over Bush... and then didn't get to drink that shit until Obama was president. And it wasn't good. It was icky. I poured the last quarter of it out, I think. Macallan isn't bad scotch but that cask-strength shit was cursed or something.

When I was dating the rich girl one of her rich friend's dads gave her a bottle of wine as old as she was (1976). When he found out we didn't drink it he cracked one open, had a glass, re-corked it and sent the bottle along so we'd be forced to drink it. It was French and delicious but not, like, crazy good. When I made it known to him that we welcomed champagne we tended to get five or six bottles at a time, always left over from parties, the cheapest being Piper-Heidsieck. Also good, but not good enough to not drink Freixenet. Or, lately, Barefoot because who the fuck pays $14 for Freixenet. The rich girl's dad used to drink vicariously through me so for my college graduation I scored a bottle of Hennessy XO. Also good, but not nearly as good as Kelt VSOP.

The biggest bummer about Washington State is a $60 bottle of Kelt VSOP is $110 with taxes.