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oyster  ·  2990 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: How am I to be less needy? How do I make friends?

Hey from what you've written here you sound a lot like a friend of mine who is in therapy for similar problems. The Inner critic is a big one and if you don't mind me asking some seemingly off topic questions I might be able to give you some advice of what he's been working on.

When you work on your inner critic I imagine you address the criticism that is directed at you but how are you for being critical of others ? You've probably noticed that your criticism directed to yourself is often overblown or completely misplaced and the same can likely be said for criticism we direct to others. Most of us realize we shouldn't be critical to somebodies face but what we don't realize is that when we are talking about that person to someone else we might actually be insulting two people. We don't notice because when we like a person this seemingly huge flaw isn't even on our radar because it really was never huge to begin with. Does that make sense ? My friend would sit there being critical of every person he could and eventually some of those criticisms would apply to me.

If you're in this position it might be worthwhile to start asking why you're being so critical of people. Are you looking for flaws and reasons not to get close to people ? Maybe part of you is ready to start making friends but that other part is seeking out reasons not to.

My second question is how much would you say pride or ego plays a role in your life ? When we are in relationships in any form we have to trust someone and be vulnerable. This is especially true in romantic relationships however for somebody who is protecting their pride being vulnerable is not easy.

I won't ramble to much since this might not even apply to you but if it does this stuff might need to be addressed before you can form proper friendships.