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This describes a friend of mine, and that makes me sad. Our conversations are either about cats, about her, or we don't talk for days and days. It used to describe another friend, but after a falling out and not talking for months, we've reconnected in a way that works. There are no more expectations, by either of us, to always be there. But we still have a lot of compatibilities, and occasional chats are enjoyable when neither of us expect anything from the other besides someone who understands. It's understanding without taking on the problem as a caseload. I still don't know what to do about the first friend, though.