Do I ever relate to that. I decided to cut my little brother out of my life five years ago and it was one of the hardest decisions I have ever made. It was about a year long mental process for me. I love the shit out of the guy and we always have a great time together and have tons in common.

But I realized the same. He would usually only contact me when there was a problem in his life that he needed me to help him with. I realized that was 95% of my role our entire lives. I talked to him about it and he completely disagreed.

Then a while later we got into a major debate about a fundamental moral issue. He decided that he was not going to try to be part of his son's life anymore as the joy he got out of it (which was a lot and he was a great Dad) was far outweighed by the grief he constantly got from his ex (which I can not disagree with). I essentially told him that he was a complete asshole if he decided to do that. So that was the end of it as I did not want to have anything to do with that.

The situation turned out really well though, besides the fact I hate not having him my life. Over the last five years I have pretty much stepped into the "father figure role" (to the greatest extent possible) and my nephew stays or vacations with me for the month of August, March Break and will be here for 8 days this week. We text all the time and have tons of fun so the situation really turned out having a golden lining.

It took me over a year to think that through and I do not think I was over-thinking it and you aren't either. Best of luck.