I think that you would benefit greatly from sitting down and asking your parents to have an adult conversation with you. Let them know the things you just wrote. As for the question, "what should I be grateful for and for,"?- food, shelter, a good education these are all things that many people don't have. It's easy, even for me at age 38, to forget that my parents are fallible, people. But they are. Kids don't come with a handbook. It's likely your parents are trying their best and think they're doing right by you. My guess is that any damage being done isn't intentional. It's likely their parents treated them similarly and that was their only inclination as to "how to" parent. They're people. Sit down with them and talk to them calmly, with notes in front of you of what you'd like to discuss. Act like an adult and perhaps they'll treat you like one. Communicate with them. Take the high road. You be the adult that you wish they were. Good luck.