I feel like I pressed a button.
I as a woman am told I should be polite instead of expressing myself
From my experience, it isn't because you're a woman - it's because you're perceived to suppose to be a nice gal, for one reason or another. I went through that, too: most people around me pressured me to be a nice guy because I hurt their feelings otherwise. I don't remember my childhood, but I guess I always liked being direct and honest, and people around me didn't dig it. I can only assume that it's mostly the same everywhere, though I can't deny that gender could play quite a bit into others' expectations of you.
Overall, I agree with you. "What could be expelled by the truth, should be".
Still, I have an issue, and I think you'll understand where I'm coming from: using "attitude" to describe a specific kind of attitude - boldness - and "salty" to describe acerbic expression of oneself.
The first one, in particular, drives me nuts: my narcissistic mother always used to push me to "behave" by asking angerly "Why are you acting this way?"; when I asked back "What way?", she always took a second or two before replying "...this way!", having absolute anxiety about expressing herself openly. To name it "attitude" is to give it a false name - a lazy name, a mental substitute for what is really meant, which goes against speaking one's mind.
As for "salty", well, I suppose we may be seeing it differently. I've grown used to seeing "salty" meaning "acting as a sore loser" (after one's ego been damaged in some way): backtalk, blaming everything but oneself for the results etc. You've already used the exact word to describe what you meant perfectly: "acerbic". "Acrid" is fine, too, and so is "acidic" (I have no idea why isn't it used more often). My point is - name things for what they are.