A coworker who I liked and was close enough for her to make the following observation about me once said, "_refugee_, I hope my kids never feel about me the way you do about your mom." This was without me ever getting into much detail about my past wrt my mother, just relating my day-to-day existence over 18 months, during which (of course) my mother occasionally popped up. Without even thinking I told her, "Just be a good mother." Now that's one of those responses that in retrospect I realized could be mega awkward, and was certainly very telling. I considered it after I heard it come out of my mouth, though, in the 30 seconds or so that a conversation allows you to turn over what's been spoken, and I shrugged and realized that I still found it true. Yeah, when someone asks me about my family, I tell them about my siblings or my cats.