In the words of Matthew McConaughey, "All right, all right, all right."

Last night, I was watching 30 Rock, as I am wont to do, and after about 3 episodes I decided to call it quits. I turned off the TV, got up from our recliner, and was suddenly overcome with a wave of emotion. For whatever reason--call it chance, unidentified triggers, or just bad luck--I immediately began missing my ex like hell.

A brief interlude, to provide some back story: I was sort of crushing on her for a couple months about a year and a half ago. Around last December, we started a quasi-relationship; in February, she broke up with me. Then in March we got back together, but by the end of the school year she broke things off again. After a summer apart, I was fairly convinced that I was over her. The first time we hung out (in the weeks leading up to this school year), though, that all went out the window. I've been pining over her pretty consistently ever since.

Anyway, last night: I was texting one of my other friends about how shitty I felt for a while, and eventually he said something like, "You should probably just get over her because she told me she's definitely not looking for a relationship." This was news to me. It felt like a punch in the gut.

That's about where you all came in. I was in dire need of a distraction.

I like her a lot, and it sucks. The weird thing is, rationally, there's no reason I should like her this much. She's not my dream girl or anything. We don't have that many common interests; some of her behaviors really grate on me; we disagree on a few fundamental matters of ethics. But in spite of all this, I am fantastically attracted to her. Physically, emotionally, inexplicably--I can't shake it, and it's awful.