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steve  ·  3398 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: It's Entirely Normal To Not Want Kids

wow… this is so loaded…. and hitting a little close to home at the moment (frustrated with myself and my kids). I'll share some, but not all. It's too bad I don't drink… or I'd be sloshed and sharing way TMI.

I don't think I mentally prepared myself to have kids. My first son was born about 6 months after my 25th birthday. I was married, graduated, employed, etc. but I don't think I was "ready". Although arguably - you never REALLY are. You can wait for a good job and a nice house and a reliable car and, and, and…. you're never fully ready - and that is truly unexplainable.

We've had many more kids… yah - I said it… more… many more. I kinda wanted to be done with three (normal cars, all boys, so one room, etc), but my wife had other ideas. At this point - even if I made a ton of money - I'll never be wealthy. Kids are expensive.

I'm glad we have more - but I wasn't always thrilled about it. Kids are RIDICULOUS. They break your heart and fill it back up again and somehow it's a little bigger each time. It's like emotional/spiritual workout sessions that run 24x7. It's so hard. There are no breaks.

If you let them - children can make you a better person. That workout builds patience, compassion, mental agility, character, endurance, and charity.

But it can break you too. Maybe not completely break you - but you gotta be careful. There can be rough patches. You need a partner in crime (spouse, significant other, whatever) who is 100% equally invested in the situation. Both for the kid and for you. And you for him/her. Ugh. I'm tired just thinking about it.

TLDR - Do I regret being a parent? Yah.. some days. But long term? No way. Somewhere along the line, you lose yourself in it, and then you find a better version of you.

end ramble.