This past Saturday I went on my second ever okcupid date, after talking online for a week. We met up at a pho place pretty near where we both live. We had a lot of stuff in common and mutual interests and things were going well. It turned out we actually went to the same small college together for a short time, and knew a couple people in common. After dinner, she asked if I wanted to grab a beer at a place down the street, which I gladly said yes to. We got a couple beers, talked some more, listened to the jazz band that was playing. Definitely having a fun time. Then we left and she had a cigarette outside (didn't realize she smoked until this point, but doesn't matter much to me). She asked if I wanted to come back to her place which was a few blocks away to listen to some music she had been telling me about, and I said definitely. We got in my car and drove over, and we listened to some music on her record player and played this weird chess game that she was into for an hour or two. Her roommate got home and she asked if I wanted to go up to her room to "watch a movie" that she had been telling me about.

I should mention at this point that neither of us had listed on our profiles that we were looking for casual sex or anything like that - the date was just going well and we were both going with the flow. So we went upstairs and so on and so forth. I left in the morning, and didn't talk to her at all on Sunday, then texted her on Monday afternoon asking how a band was that she saw on Sunday evening. She replied "It was good. Hey, I think you're a cool guy but I realized after Saturday night that I am so not in a good place to date right now. Thanks for hanging out!", to which I replied "That's cool, thanks for being straightforward about it. I had a good time either way!" Her OKC profile was deactivated shortly thereafter.

I have no idea how to feel about it. We both definitely had a good time, and if she genuinely just realized that she's not in a good place to date, that's obviously totally cool. But her text was completely unexpected considering how well the date went, so I have no idea if I said or did something stupid.

I also realize that I shouldn't give a shit so much about a first date, but it was the first time in the year since my last relationship ended that I had a good date and made a connection with someone, so it just feels kinda shitty :(