ref: I prefer to say "it's not the right thing for me." -- which is also true without being cruel. Gradually escalate as necessary.... Let's call him "Blinky" just for fun. Cell Phone: "boom chukka lukka lukka, boom chukka" -- "Hello" Hey Ref - I'm glad you're back. Let's get together. "Hey Blinky, thanks for calling. I've been thinking about us a lot and decided that seeing you is not the right thing for me." What are you talking about? We're perfect for each other. "It's really just not the right thing for me right now." Look ref, let's just give it another chance. Let's just hang out at the house tonight. I'll cook dinner. "Thanks Blinky, but -- it's -- not -- the -- right -- thing for me. ( alittle firmer). But . . . "Bye now." click. good luck