Hold deep and strong in the very deepest wells of your soul the incontrovertible fact that none of these people will matter the slightest to you, have any impact on your future, hold any sway over your fortune, or any input into your destiny.

Recognize that high school is a killing field of trimming neurons, overflowing hormones, untrained judgement and uninformed decisions colliding with each other and maximizing bloodshed. Also recognize that the amount of bloodshed and collision is far, far, far less than it seems.

Understand that any decision or choice that does not risk addiction, incarceration, serious injury or death is a decision to be taken in the affirmative. You will regret the chances not taken far more than the risks that did not go your way.

Internalize that everyone around you is just as frustrated, just as afraid, just as awkward, just as acned, just as insecure, just as sad, just as angry and just as despairing as you. Also internalize that no one is allowed to say this.

The twilight region between childhood and adulthood is a dark place where vision is scarce. Its denizens rely on smell: they can smell fear. They can smell fakery. They can smell a rat. Be true to yourself, be true to others, be true not only to you but to your idealized version of you. Appreciate that in the land of the blind the one-eyed man is king and a modicum of self-esteem and motivation shall make you a leader.

Know that smiles are contagious and that simply paying attention to someone can make you a friend for life. If you pretend you're happy you will eventually fool even yourself. If you put others' concerns ahead of your own they will follow your example.

Appreciate that the Internet is homogenous but the people around you are unique. Focus on those you can physically touch, not those who type long, obnoxious platitudes aimed vaguely in your direction. Talk is cheap. Touch is priceless.

Watch John Hughes films. All of them. Not all of them are great but nearly all of them are good. The archetypes change, but the song remains the same: adolescence is a trying time for everyone and has been since the invention of the teenager.

You will survive it. You will look back. And you will assign an undue importance to everything that happens within the next two years for the rest of your life - that's just the hormones talking. In order to leave the trap of your own creation before you're forced to live in it, remember that 'high school' is a pejorative prefix for the rest of the world for a reason. It all seems more important than it actually is, and unless you take steps now to nip that shit in the bud, it always will be.

Good luck. Stay strong, play hard, use protection and steer clear of anything intravenous or deriving from red phosphorus. You'll be fine.