I think I can follow you. Or, at least know I tried.

The way my perspective is constructed is like a flat, infinite grid. You start on one point and every second you move on the plane. The problem with my flat grid is that you can't jump up from your path. You can't leave the paths as you can't go out of yourself. Every decision is a new path, every outcome is path-dependant. No way to leave it. Some decisions lead to death, the reset button, early, some later. In the end, what consists of 'you' is the tree that started when you were born, with all the different lives branching off into the distance. But it is a finite tree, and that is all that matters.

Your life now is the path that you currently take on the grid. Every second passing means that less outcomes will be available to you. At the same time, it builds you: your experiences define who you are, who the person traveling the infinite grid is.

Somehow, no matter how I approach the problem, I keep returning to this point. Infinitely many perspectives, infinitely many choices. With no point, no purpose.

What I hope, the purpose I created for myself, is that there is one path for me that is the best. The One. If I can take the right decisions, I'll end up at an outcome that is The End.

Isn't that what the zen idea is all about? Living your lives until you can finally do it right.

Maybe then, I can jump.