I feel at loss asking you how it felt, because it sounds like an experience no words can describe.
It's kind of a bummer to realize that you are an unhappy asshole who makes the world a worse place to be. It was also comforting to come to the realization that I was one way but could become another. I probably took four trips in my first year or two of drug exploration that gave me insight and edged my perspective toward a happier way of living. I tripped a lot more than that. Most those trips were interesting but not profound. Interacting with friends and lovers often deepens your understanding and strength of your relations. I only take a significant dose about once a year now a days, usually with my wife. I will occasionally pop a single cap or stem for a little perspective change, it's fun, does not impair my ability to be social or functional.
For what it's worth, it's an experience I've had multiple times, without mind-expanding drugs. If I take them... I wonder where I'd be going. Also had, multiple times, my mental barriers falling in a way that seems similar to alcohol disinhibition, without a single drop. I wonder if it means I'm too sensitive to this kind of thing to take LSD and such.It's kind of a bummer to realize that you are an unhappy asshole who makes the world a worse place to be. It was also comforting to come to the realization that I was one way but could become another.
Which drugs? Weed: Meh. Mushrooms: AMAZING, and life-transforming. LSD: Educational. Fun. MDMA: Was fun for a while. Cocaine: BUZZZZZZ....meh. Ketamine: FUN. Whisky: Love it. Cigarettes: Have never smoked. Cigars: In a verrrry specific set of very unusual circumstances, they can be wonderful. Coffee: Never a drop... until I moved to the Balkans in my 30's. Now: Pretty much every day, for social reasons. (I like the boutique coffee community. Don't need caffeine to function. Just like coffee as a social thing.) Umm.... I think that's probably all the biggies I have done.