After some ambivalence, I decided to post this. I look forward to any hubskyite responses.
I don't think I can talk about it, and I'm not sure if I did, I could explain it as there was much more internal than external turbulence at the time. If those close to me were to guess my bottom most point, they would likely choose something more obvious. But, it was followed by a moment of awakening, and a slow climb. It's a powerful thing to be able too look back at a point like this. Little did he know that by throwing those papers about he was doing you a favor. I'm glad that you got out, lil. We always assume those around us are in a pretty good place. I try to remember that everyone just tries to appear that way, and it might not be so.
hubskyite.. I like that. I was in a job that I didn't like for about 3 years. I always knew that it was just a "stepping stone" to a career that I could actually enjoy. I had planned on doing it for 2 years and it wasn't until my 3 year anniversary with the company that I finally felt fed up. There was one person there, the VP, that kept me motivated to not leave. He was kind to me and had acted as a mentor. Though the job itself really sucked, knowing that he had career aspirations for me within the organization made it worth while. Then right after my 3 year anniversary he was "displaced". The guy that took his spot was a guy named Ted. Ted was a dick, the kind of guy that thinks fear is a great motivator. No matter how well you were performing at your job, you were still forced to be in the same sales meetings with Ted yelling at everyone. It sucked, I decided I had to leave. It wasn't "rock bottom" but I could see the writing on the wall, and it read: "Someday you'll be 60 years old and do you want to say you worked here your whole career"? -No thanks. I put my resume on Linkedin per a friends suggestion about 3 months prior to this and had forgotten all about it. A week after Ted took the VP spot, my director was spending a "day in the field" with me and was sitting right next to me when I received a phone call from a sales recruiter that was calling to offer me an interview. He had found my resume on Linkedin (that site actually works). Because my director was sitting next to me I said to the recruiter, "thanks for calling, I appreciate it but I have a job and I couldn't be happier". (I nearly puked in my mouth). After dropping my director off, I immediately called the recruiter back and said, "please disregard everything I said....". Long story short, 5 interviews later I landed my dream job. It's not me waking up in a ditch covered in my own vomit and feces, but it was my rock bottom-ish event. I really, really, really hated that job but I almost stayed with it. Thankfully, when my VP was replaced, the bottom sort of came up and kicked my ass out the door. Disclaimer: I fully understand that I have lived a pretty nice life when this is my rock bottom. I have had my share of soul wrenching heartbreak, drug induced guilt laden actions but those are for me to know about.
Also, I didn't see the tag lil. I hope you hadn meant for the responses to be only in that realm. It's an extremely important thing for people to feel open and safe to discuss and I wouldn't want my meandering diatribe about a miserable job situation to people off from sharing. I've been lucky to avoid such abuses and have zero tolerance for such things. I'm very glad you removed yourself from that situation. Better late than never.
Thanks lil. As mk mentioned, it is often more about what is happening internally than externally. It was the first (and only) time I didn't like what I was doing in life and felt like I may be stuck doing it. I enjoyed your piece. Much like your last one, it gave me pause to appreciate what I do have. Life is good. Thanks lil.