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comment by tacocat
tacocat  ·  362 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: October 18, 2017

If you noticed me sulking or posting less than cheerful things, my girlfriend broke up with me. And she chose to do it a week or so after I came to sober living in part to help our relationship and give her time to deal with her problems without worrying about mine.

Her psychopathic ex husband went through about 300 hundred pictures I took and posted to a photo licensing site and found two pictures of her dogs, lost his shit again, so she decided it was all too much and let me twist in the wind for a week before I finally point blank asked her what she was going to do.

And everything she said she couldn't deal with is something I can change or am trying to change. Or if was something that's been there from the start. That can still change.

And she thinks I'm being mean when I tell her how I feel. And she thinks I'm being mean because I can't talk to her or be her friend. I just can't hear how she's doing. Or look at happy pictures of her. It's bad enough my phone is full of pictures of her. She thinks I'm trying to make her feel guilty. I'm not trying. She should. She devastated me. I feel guilty when I hurt people. It's called a conscience. This is all my fault basic. She got what she wanted because she can't even be technically with me while two hours apart and I'm handling it wrong because I'm fucking upset to put it mildly.

I'm crying all the time for no outwardly apparent reason. And I'm surprised that's the worst thing I'm doing

user-inactivated  ·  362 days ago  ·  link  ·  

If crying is the worse you're doing, you've come far. I'm sorry to hear things didn't work, but keep trucking on dude and keep trying to improve. Right now, you deserve the best you that you can be.

tacocat  ·  362 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Thank you. I don't know how I'm doing it

lil  ·  362 days ago  ·  link  ·  

On a tiny phone on a bus. Went on to try a "something beautiful" poem on your prompt. Found this. So glad you are clean. I know there's love out there. And so do you. It's just not always where we think to look.

tacocat  ·  362 days ago  ·  link  ·  

You know more than most here what she meant to me. There aren't words for how I feel