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comment by someguyfromcanada
someguyfromcanada  ·  237 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: June 28, 2017

Not your problem dude. So don't make it yours especially when you already have one problem that you alone are in charge of right now.

That is probably the hardest life lesson I have ever had. Took far too long to sink in. I am a helper. That is my natural instinct and it is not always a good one. Sometimes you can not be in charge of making things better. There are other adults in the room and whatever happens is not your responsibility.

tacocat  ·  237 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I liked what Kleinbl00 said about being vindictive. But in the moment being unable to leave this place and hearing her cry and hyper ventilate, the only thing stopping me from just intentionally ruining his life was knowing she wouldn't want that.

someguyfromcanada  ·  237 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Eye for an eye makes everyone blind but that is not the essential issue. She knows you are in a place where you need to focus on you and she calls to cry and hyper-ventilate about the situation she created for herself?

Hard facts: Sounds like she either has no idea what you are trying to accomplish for yourself or she does not care. No rational person puts such an extra burden on one who is already carrying plenty of load.

Not if they understand what caring is about anyways. I am not at all saying she is not a good person but perhaps she is oblivious to the fact that she is putting a tremendous burden on you in a time where you need no more.

You can not be good for anyone unless you put yourself first right now. Codependency is not a wise replacement for booze.

I know that sounds harsh and is easy to say from a far but I have been in your shoes and am on your side.

tacocat  ·  237 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Yeah, that is not an accurate assumption of what happened that night.