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comment by blackbootz
blackbootz  ·  383 days ago  ·  link  ·    ·  parent  ·  post: Pubski: April 5, 2017

I'm wobbly. I broke up with a longtime, long-distance girlfriend Monday night. She's devestated and I feel terrible. I have 4 midterms this week, two today. Even though at 25 I'm only a few years older than the average undergrad classmate, I feel apart in most of my classes. I've not found "my people." I've been eating dog shit for breakfast lunch and dinner, and I haven't slept well in a long time. Technically these are all my own decisions, so it's all on me. This is just the hardest week I've had all year.

I don't want to fill pubski with bummers. Something positive. I'm looking into a semester abroad next spring. Either Leeds or Seoul. Anyone spent a long time in either? Have a beautiful spring week everybody! (In the northern hemisphere I should say.)

rjw  ·  383 days ago  ·  link  ·  

As a British person, I would say pick Seoul ;)

I have a friend who lived just outside Seoul for a year and a bit as an EFL teacher so if you have any questions, I could see if I could pass them on to him (he's not on here).

blackbootz  ·  382 days ago  ·  link  ·  

But as an American, England has enormous appeal. It's different enough to satisfy the craving for something culturally distinct from the US. The University of Leeds is one of the most diverse schools in the world, 25% of its 20k+ undergraduate population is international. And my extroversion would feed off of the lack of a (big) language barrier.

But Seoul is so cool. And the support that comes with a program like a structured study abroad is more utilized the more foreign and exotic a place is. I can go to England anytime and I'd be fine. I don't know the next time I could visit South Korea like this.

I'm torn. I look forward to learning more about this all.

rjw  ·  382 days ago  ·  link  ·  

The fact that England is distinct enough from the USA to satisfy a cultural craving did not occur to me, but I would surely say the same thing if I were considering living in the USA...

blackbootz  ·  381 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I think we're on the same page then. Where in the UK are you from? How old are you? Have you ever been to the states?

rjw  ·  381 days ago  ·  link  ·  

South east England (currently in London), 24 years old. I went to New York for a week when I was 18 for a robotics competition. Damn, that was exactly 6 years ago... I should go to the USA again.

War  ·  383 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Hope you feel better! It's good that you recognize these aspects of your life that may be lacking, and seems like you retain the will to changed them. Work on it bit by bit. My recommendation? The food. It's a simple fix, but honestly eating a good meal makes a huge difference.

Good luck on those midterms!

blackbootz  ·  383 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Yea, a bunch of junk food and a few beers for dinner is like the kick when you're down. This morning it's a coffee and a homemade soup. First exam is in an hour. Thanks War

flagamuffin  ·  382 days ago  ·  link  ·  
user-inactivated  ·  383 days ago  ·  link  ·  

This is surprisingly accurate to my current condition, as well.

Those few years make a hell of a difference. I'm 22, and most of my groupmates are turning 20 this year. You may have heard how well we're doing together, which is - not at all, for multiple reasons. The biggest of them is a vast difference in worldview between most of my year's students on the faculty. They're not taking their studies and future prospects seriously enough - and those are some of the most educated and thoughtful students of the university.

    Technically these are all my own decisions, so it's all on me.

Have you decided not to eat to feel unwell, or was it lack of energy and mood that drove you towards it?

You're not as in control of what happens to you as you'd like to believe. Even the reaction to outside events has to come from some source of energy, and sometimes, we lack it. Don't be hard on yourself if you feel bad: you don't want to make it worse by blaming the victim.

blackbootz  ·  381 days ago  ·  link  ·  

I think it's natural to condescend those younger than us. I try my utmost not to. It's narcissistic to think you always know better. I try to correct for that by genuinely seeing people in as positive a way as possible--trying to give them the benefit of the doubt, for instance. But sometimes I just can't help but conclude that I'm surrounded by kids who are not just told what to want but how to want. Like there's not an original, nonconformist bone in their bodies, it's fucking Snapchats with dog filters, don't-talk-to-anyone-but-look-at-my-phone all the way to class, etc. etc.

Whenever I get that feeling, I have to inhale and exhale.

OftenBen  ·  383 days ago  ·  link  ·  

Take care of your body and mind as best you can. The rest will likely follow. You've done this before, built yourself up before, and the only difference I can see this time is that you have the beginnings of roots in place to help you anchor yourself while you weather the high winds.

Ships and harbors and all that, you're on course for great things and contentment.

blackbootz  ·  381 days ago  ·  link  ·  

    Take care of your body and mind as best you can.

So much Sam Harris. So much. : )

Glad to see that you're doing well, too.